I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
