His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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