He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
