thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize