The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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