96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
