there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
