My cat gives me a boner
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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