Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
