Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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