You just made me feel so damn special
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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