In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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