First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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