Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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