great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
