Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
