But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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