The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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