we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
