I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am puke
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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