It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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