Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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