no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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