You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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