is your mom at the bar?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
