mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize