you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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