Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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