just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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