talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
