I'm so fucking centered right now
Sponge bath it is.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
