He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
