Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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