dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.