So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.