I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
