Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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