Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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