i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
