This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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