All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
