Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Randomize
