I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
