Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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