All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
