Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
