maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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