She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your cock deserves a montage
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
