I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
