The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
