if i can run in heels then i can drive
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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