i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize