My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
