Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
