I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
