I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
