Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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